Beyond the Rainbow: Embracing Diversity and Inclusion
Her office is a welcoming haven for all, a vibrant tapestry of life and warmth. Sunlight streamed through large glass windows, casting a golden glow that cascaded across the polished marble floor. The gentle hum of ceiling fans mixed with the occasional bark and playful yips of her adorable five dogs that roamed freely, creating an atmosphere that was both lively and comforting.
As we entered, a large, inviting sofa set sat in the centre of the room, walls adorned with photographs, accolades, and innumerable awards, bookshelves filled with volumes on various LGBTQ topics, potted plants, and fresh flowers added splashes of green and colour, enlivening the beauty of a balmy June day inside. A humble sense of history and achievement permeated the space, indicating a well-read and thoughtful mind that has touched many lives.
As we rested ourselves in the cosy armchairs, getting ready to begin our interview, tidying up our notepads, pens, and opening thoughts, one of her favourite dogs, Michael, a golden retriever, nibbled our toes for some extra cookies. Across from us sat Anjali Gopalan, comfortably in her work chair. Her specs rested on her wisdom-etched ears, framing her neatly styled short hair. Wearing a vibrant floral kurta set, she radiated a sense of energy and warmth as she started her day. Let’s take you on an insightful journey of inclusion and the rights of the LGBTQ community through our series of questions with the distinguished Anjali Gopalan:
Smriti: In your experience, what are some of the most pressing issues faced by the LGBTQ community today?
With her gentle smile and kind demeanour that conveyed both strength and warmth, she replied: Look, the biggest issue that we face even today is that the LGBTQ community has no rights as compared to the citizens of our country. Like the right to get married, which, as a normal citizen, we don’t even think of as a right. In our society, if we don’t get married, it’s considered a violation of a right. Also, the right to the inheritance of property, the right to legally travel, or the right to take care of a sick person when you’re not their spouse. How can we deny rights to one section? These are all basic human rights that every other citizen exercises freely.
“On what basis are you denying these? It’s very illogical, to say the least. It’s such a violation of basic human rights.” - Gopalan
Ishita: You have been extensively involved with gay rights and inclusivity, both in the US and India. In light of this, how different are your experiences and intrinsic battles on personal and social levels in these two countries?
Sipping her tea and gently resting her gaze on us with a slightly sombre look, she began to speak: See, the difference between the two is obviously in the rights enshrined in the community. But even today, in the US, there is such a class and regression, especially what’s happening with trans rights. But obviously, culturally, politically, and socially, in terms of societal responses, they are very different from India. However, I still think that there are issues around violence that exist, although, to some extent, they’ve got laws to protect the community. But with respect to holistically embracing, including, and accepting them as one, is still missing in both countries.
“There are so many cases that I come across where the families do not accept their gay children and push them to lead a so-called society-level-defined ‘normal life of being married and having and raising kids of their own’ while keeping their sexual choices and preferences in the closet.” - Gopalan
Even in our country, if you look at it, if the family accepts, then the rest of the world falls into place. But our biggest issue is that the family doesn’t accept it, and culturally, family plays such an important role for us. Also, in the US, there's a social security net for everyone, which just doesn’t exist for us here in India.
Smriti: Capital and metropolitan cities are relatively better with LGBTQ acceptance, but how is the situation when we compare urban with rural areas, where it might be more difficult for LGBTQ individuals?
I think it’s a mixed bag. In rural areas, you will find very effeminate men or trans people who can’t hide themselves because it’s a small village, so it’s a lot harder. Also, they are more contained, and there’s a lot more policing of behaviours. Sometimes they are accepted, sometimes they aren't. So, that’s why they end up leaving their small towns and coming to the large metropolitan cities. Because capitals and big cities offer them the shelter of anonymity.
“Over these 30 years, the people we have worked with are mostly from rural areas. And one of the most common questions that I’ve asked young men is, when was your first sexual experience? And, it’s horrifying, as the average age they seem to be exposed to sexual assault, and “I call it assault,” is 8 or 9 years of age. And it’s usually uncles, teachers, and cousins. Of course, abuse usually happens within families. And this is something that we don’t talk about.
“This is something that children carry within themselves and are mostly admonished and shunned by their mothers when they talk. So, they don’t know who they turn to or who they go to. And this is something for the rest of their lives that they struggle with.” - Gopalan
Smriti: To think of it, I know there are people like you doing great work. But what can we do, both as a society and as individuals, to become more sensitive and inclusive as friends and family to the LGBTQ community?
I think what’s critical is that people need to have clarity on these issues so that they can talk openly about them. Because the problem is always having the correct information and being open enough to talk about it in a respectful manner. You’ve got to go through enough training to be able to do this, but I think if your heart is in the right place, other things will fall into place.
“Unfortunately, even for very well-meaning people, it’s not uncommon for me to hear them say Oh! I accept them. I don’t have a problem with that. But if my own child came and told me that I’m gay, I don’t think I'd be able to accept that. So, that is not true acceptance, right?” - Gopalan
And that is why people like me and people like you have to work with communities to change the attitudes of people. Media, corporations, movies—every individual has a role to play in changing the attitudes of their communities.
“And it's only through inputs that our attitudes change. We are all products of our environment; we don’t know any better.”- Gopalan
After this invigorating talk, we couldn't help but feel more inspired by the passion and commitment of Anjali Gopalan that filled the room.
“Don’t let the big picture hold you back” - Be the change, bring the change in your own little and unique ways.
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